Go on any dating site, okay at least the older adults dating sites, and you’ll find the terms, “gentleman, old-school, or chivalrous” in just about any profile you pull up. Men say, “I will open the door for you” or “I’ll always have your back”.
Opening the Car Door
Not that I don’t adore men being the gentleman, but seriously. I can open my own door, and it makes no sense for me to stay seated in the car while you have to get out and walk around to my side to open the door for me. It might be appropriate for you elderly mother, or your 90 year old grandmother, but I’m perfectly capable of opening the door and lifting myself out of the seat. As a gentleman, you still come around to my side of the car to be sure you’re offering any assistance that I might need, before trapesing off to the movie theatre to get the best place in line.
How about if you open the door while I get in and hold anything that makes getting in or out more cumbersome? That’s a gentleman.
I love when you walk down the stairs in front of me to protect or brace me in case I were to trip and fall downward; and you can walk up the stairs behind me to offer the same protection- and plus you get the bonus view. That’s a gentleman
If you’re gentleman enough to open the door at the restaurant, I appreciate it; but telling me I didn’t get in the door fast enough blows your gentlemanly approach.
I love when you transition your position smoothly as we’re walking so that you always ensure you walk on the traffic side of me or gently nudge me next to you because you see someone behind me, that I might be in the way of, or that you feel a sense to be wary of.
I love when you are cognizant to be sure we walk side by side, rather than holding my hand and dragging me along with you, especially in large crowds. A gentleman always makes sure his lady is protected from the crowd, from the people pushing and shoving and bouncing off each other. You can put your arm around my waist so that you have the ability to shuffle me along with you and still reach out to block any stray elbows that might land in my direction. You might also place me gently in front of you and guard my back and hold my hand as I reach behind me, which allows you the freedom to use your full body to establish a safe perimeter around me.
Being a gentleman is more about trust, safety and thoughtfulness. Tune in next week for part 2.